Butcher Baker, Nightmare Maker AKA Night Warning Review

"College is for rich kids and people with brains. You wouldn't fit in!"

Butcher Baker, Nightmare Maker AKA Night Warning is a horror/thriller from 1982 directed by William Asher (probably best known for his extensive work on TV's Bewitched). The film was inducted into the now infamous Video Nasties list shortly after its release. This is one of the more overlooked titles on the list but it easily manages to hold its own up there with the best of them. Although the film only contains a couple scenes of violence it does have an underlying theme that definitely makes it quite a bit more grim than most of the others that occupy the list.

The film kicks off with poor Billy's parents dying in a pretty intense car accident. We pick up years later and Billy is living with his Aunt Cheryl who seems to have quite the thing for him. Billy's life is going great, he's got a chance at a full ride scholarship for his basketball skills and is finally getting with the girl of his dreams. Aunt Cheryl refuses to let him leave for college. Especially if it's the same college his new slut girlfriend will be attending. She needs a man around the house and Billy is the perfect fit.

Things all go downhill from here when Cheryl tries to get with a local repairman at their house. When the man refuses she gets furious and stabs the life out of him with a kitchen knife. Billy's Aunt immediately goes the "attempted rape" route as soon as she realizes Billy witnessed the final moments of the murder. The cops clearly aren't buying the story as they raddle off lines like, "Wasn't his day. Poor guy didn't even get his pecker out". From here on Cheryl's downward spiral starts at full force. Nothing will come between her and Billy.

The extremely strong incestuous overtones in this film really makes it stand out. There's something particularly eerie about Billy's Aunt waking him up by sensually scratching him and purring like a cat. This flick is loaded with creepy moments with that tone. Susan Tyrrell gives an amazingly convincing performance as the sex deprived Aunt who sees her nephew as the solution. Somehow the twist revealed at the latter half of the film somehow manages to make the incest theme even more skin crawling than before.

Overall Butcher Baker, Nightmare Maker is a damn good horror flick of the early 80's. If you go into it expecting a proper Video Nasties gore-fest you'll be letdown, but as a film it works on every level. I'm sure most of the seasoned Video Nasties watchers have seen more disappointing flicks on that front from the list (I'm looking at you The Witch Who Came From the Sea!). Great acting and pacing keep this one ahead of the pack luckily. I'd recommend this one for people looking to check out a very solid horror/thriller. Get it.

The Centerfold Girls Review

"He was their JUDGE... JURY... and EXECUTIONER!"

The Centerfold Girls is a classic overlooked horror/exploitation film from 1974. The flick stars Andrew Prine (Simon, King of the Witches) as a killer armed with a straight razor and a nudie magazine. In a very odd way The Centerfold Girls is an anthology flick of sorts. The movie is split into three chapters. Each chapter consists of our killer Clement Dunne stalking and killing another victim from his adult magazine.

The movie kicks off with us following our first victim. She's a nurse who's been getting some real creepy calls lately. Out of the kindness of her heart she picks up a young girl hitchhiking who seems nice enough. Little does she know this girl is a member of a Manson Family style cult and she has plans to throw an awesome cult party at the house. Things go South quickly when our victim complains about the noisy, joint ashing hippies keeping her from getting some sleep. She escapes only to fall into another sleazed up situation, and only then are we introduced to the killer in the story.

This first story is one of the most jarring ways a film could possibly open. So many horrible events for victim number one are crammed into such a short period of time that it's staggering. All to just be snuffed out with the swiftness from Clement Dunne. The second story gives the viewer a little time to get a chance to breathe after all the atrocities committed in the first. Although the body count is the highest in this segment it is easily the most tame of the three. There are some great moments in this one that almost feel as though they were influenced by Italian cinema from this period. Dunne systematically picks off a group of people working on a model shoot. Soon after we're right back in full blown sleaze mode with chapter three in this twisted tale. Complete with roofies, rape and degradation it is amazing that director John Peyser (mostly known for television shows) went so balls out in the only horror film he directed in his career.

 Andrew Prine plays this sharp dressed killer like a champ. He possesses a certain cold, emptiness that really sets this flick off with the perfect tone. As he approaches the victims with his calm and collected demeanor it's hard not to be blown away by his performance. His performance really hits its peak with the final victim during the chase scene. Between his performance and the perfect setting for this sequence it easily lands its spot as one of the best finales to ever grace the screen in horror history. The acting all around in The Centerfold Girls is pretty solid but as usual during this era Prine steals the spotlight.

The Centerfold Girls is the perfect example of the straight up mean spirited, nasty films the exploitation circuit was churning out in the 70's. The film plods along with no intention of letting even the slightest moment of being apologetic slip. This kind of grit and grime is something we don't see often in the horror films of this day and age. This is without a doubt an essential piece of trashy exploitation that should hold a spot in any horror fans collection. Given the films release date it could also be considered one of the earliest slashers. If any readers out there haven't seen this film and are into the more gritty, mean serial killer/slasher flicks it is HIGHLY recommended that you pick this up. GET IT.

Dry Bones Review

"To Survive the Night, Don't Look Under the Bed!"

Dry Bones is a new horror comedy directed by Greg Lamberson and Michael O'Hear. Many of you may be familiar with Gregory Lamberson from the legendary Slime City series. The film sports a pretty nice B-movie cast featuring Debbie Rochon and Michael O'Hear. When Drew was a child he was haunted by a monster living underneath his bed. He would bug his abusive father and pushover mother constantly throughout the night. One day his dad arrives in the room and locks the door to give Drew a good ol' fashioned ass whoopin' only to discover that the monster Drew speaks of is real. It's too late for Drew's father as we watch him get sucked under the bed and sucked dry down to the bone!

Years later Drew is back in town to fix up and sell his childhood home. After years of psychiatrists doping him up and telling him it was all his imagination Drew is all too comfortable with the idea. It's not until a few nights of staying in the house that he comes to the realization that this couldn't be further from the truth. All hell breaks loose when Drew discovers that it is a succubus that is living beneath the bed. The succubus begins sucking anyone dry that steps foot it Drew's house and it's beginning to seem like he's the prime suspect for all the missing people. 

The acting in Dry Bones is actually pretty damn good for low budget fare. This really helps out the comedy bits sprinkled throughout the film. The bit concerning how popular Drew's sister is around town never gets old. Even the locksmith wants a piece of that! Given Lamberson's history with the Slime City flicks most fans would expect this film to be loaded down with goo. Surprisingly this is not the case with Dry Bones. The film is actually a very funny, enjoyable romp on classic 80's horror flicks. There is little blood or goo to be found here but plenty of fun nonetheless. That being said there is one particularly great scene involving breast milk that would have Takashi Miike's mouth watering without a doubt. The creature effects on the succubus are top notch in that great old school campy way. 

Overall Dry Bones is a damn fine time for those into low budget horror. There's really nothing to complain about with this one. I'm sure plenty would argue that the film could use some more gore but it honestly functions just as well without it. This is perfect proof that Lamberson hasn't lost his touch with the horror genre. Luckily for us fans it is also appears that he has two other features in the works (one armed with the classy title "Killer Rack"). So any of you who have been down about the state of horror lately, just know there is a pair of murderous boobs headed your way to save the day. I'd say horror fans should give this one a watch. Especially those of you big on the classic tongue in cheek horror of the 80's. GET IT.

Back From Hell

"I gotta message for ya. Tell Satan I said... KISS MY BLACK ASS!"

Back From Hell is the directorial debut Matt Jaissle (The Necro Files, Legion of the Night). The plot follows Jack, who has sold his soul to Lucifer in order to gain fame and launch his acting career. Unfortunately for him he didn't have the guts to complete the sacrifice when the time came. Now he is up for the fight of his life against Satan's hellish ninjas and demons. Along for the journey is his old friend turned priest, Father Aaron, who reluctantly decides to help Jack fight evil after shedding blood to save him.

This film is filled with great gags and dialogue. The bit with the demonic hand latching onto Aaron's face from the Bible is a personal favorite. The very drawn out scene of dialogue between our heroes and the possessed man they tie up is also made great due to some facial expressions the actor makes. The acting in Back From Hell is a bit wooden from most of the cast. This isn't too big of a fault for the film because the leads do a decent enough job and after awhile it's no longer that noticeable. The two leads become likable after we get to know them a bit more as the film moves along. It's especially rewarding to see Father Aaron's character go from being a very reserved priest to a limp having, shotgun bearing badass before all is said and done.

Although this film is extremely low budget it possesses a lot of charm. The biggest standout while watching is seeing the kind of atmosphere Jaissle managed to create with such little resources. The score (which basically consists of one song) is extremely effective in setting this hellish, almost apocalyptic tone. Drawn out shots also do their fair share creating suspense. The noose scene is a perfect example of this tension building technique working at its finest.

Overall fans of low budget horror should have a good time with this one. The film gives you ninjas, demons, and zombies. What more could a horror fan ask for? The film hits the throwback feel of classic religious based horror perfectly. Many people see this movie in a "so bad it's good" way but I genuinely think this film is awesome. It's well made and it is very clear when watching what Jaissle was going for. We get a fair share of blood splatter and an endless supply of fun with this one. Fans of B-Movies and that classic Drive-In feeling should give Back From Hell a shot.

Dave O'Shea's Day Job

"THROUGHOUT HISTORY EVERY STALKER EVERY MURDERER EVERY MONSTER HAD TO BILLS TO PAY"

Day Job is a film that brings forth an idea that is truly terrifying. Every serial killer had a day job. Ever have something go wrong in the house and have to have someone come out to check it out? Everyday people allow complete strangers into their house for things like this without thinking twice. Unfortunately all killers don't come across as stark raving lunatics foaming at the mouth. THIS is the real definition of horror, real life situations that could become a reality for anyone.

The film shows our killer Nick Carnicelli going through the daily grind as a cable guy. Seeing his everyday struggle dealing with asshole customers on a daily basis and snagging up used panties from the women who invite him into their homes to fix their cable. It is clear from the beginning that Nick is a bit of a sicko but we don't get the full extent until his home-life is shown. A house with bloodstained condoms covering walls and women chained to beds is where Nick and his equally fucked in the head roommate kick their feet up after a long days work. Armed to the dental with bondage equipment and plenty of victims to take the lashing it is very clear Nick is far gone from the semi normal person he seems to be at work.

Everything changes for Nick when he meets a woman in a broken marriage on one of his calls. He falls in love with her immediately and will do anything it takes to call her his own. With the help of his roommate anyone who may step in the way of Nick and his new found love will meet a very painful demise. This is all followed by an ending that I'm sure nobody will see coming. While the ending may seem a bit jarring I think it was the perfect way to end the film.

The handheld camera style filmmaking really helps at capturing an extremely realistic feel. Throughout the film this technique allows the viewer to relate with Nick, his victims and his customers. Every single character adds to the realism and the fact that the story is very believable by all accounts doesn't hurt either. We also get the pleasure of meeting some other colorful characters that relate to the story throughout Day Job. The scene with Nick and a coworker talking at the park provided some fucking hilarious comedic relief while also giving us some insight on the strange life of one of their customers. All I can say is period pasta looks like some damn fine cuisine!

Overall Day Job is an insanely realistic display of thought provoking depravity. After watching this you'll surely be more on edge next time you have to let a stranger into your home. I would have never guessed that this is Dave O'Shea's directorial debut. So much style and writing ability this early in the game makes his name one to watch for from here on out. Keep in mind the film is very low budget but the grimey look of it all does more help than harm. Day Job truly exceeds it's budget and I would HIGHLY recommend even those of you who aren't into low budget films to give it a watch. You won't regret it.

Sporadic Slaughter- Thoughts on Our Significance

Sporadic Slaughter is a death metal band from the UK that formed back in 2004. This band may be young but they are armed with a solid production job and the ability to write a damn good song. This alone will take them places if they make the right moves. While listening it is by no means difficult to envision these guys rising up and slaying the majority of the competition. The main thing that jumps out upon first listen is the variety. These guys manage to dish out a whole smorgasbord of death metal stylings in an 11 minute burst. Anybody with the ability to grasp an instrument can attempt this but not many succeed. At any rate it is evident when listening that Sporadic Slaughter took the time to go about mastering these stylistic shifts enough to make them cohesive. This factor alone is very impressive and has been the driving force that has kept me coming back.

The guitar playing throughout is excellent. The band maneuvers through tremolo sections, groove filled moments and fairly chaotic explosions with ease. Even with multiple of these major transitions throughout there is never even the slightest drop in momentum. The vocal approach here is pretty standard. There's the typical bellowing low and also some raspy, tortured shrieks. Nothing too special but they are delivered in a way that will keep the listener interested for the brief runtime. The lyrical themes may be a surprise to some (considering the band name). Science, space and religion are discussed on Thoughts on Our Significance. While the lyrics are fairly thought provoking for the most part the anti-religious anthem Devolution of Consciousness caught my attention the most. I tend to find scathing religion to be a bit of a tired theme in metal, but Sporadic Slaughter actually managed to write up something that didn't come across as a pointless rehash of what we've heard from countless other metal bands.

Overall Sporadic Slaughter has brought a more than worthy EP to the table. The well thought out song structures and writing in general puts this a step above the typical bands sporting this sort of sound. It does seem that they still have some work to do in terms of finding their own sound, with that being said it doesn't prevent this EP from packing one hell of a punch. Although the band does have a slightly more modern approach it is clear that they have some roots in the old school. Recommended for all fans of death metal. It's only 11 minutes, what's there to lose?

Caleb's Door

"Some doors were not meant to be opened"

Caleb's Door is Arthur Vincie's feature film debut. The film is a horror/drama about a ex-marine who is having some serious dream issues. Along with this he is having a boatload of personal problems dumped on him at once. Lady problems, work problems, the usual. He is having a bit of writer's block and upon drifting off into snoozeland he is always greeted with a red door. These dreams start to get stronger and stronger until Caleb realizes he must confront what is behind the door to move onto the next step in his life.

First things first, the story itself was rather interesting. Unfortunately the execution lacks by quite a bit and makes the film hard to watch. The acting is mediocre at best, the violence is practically nonexistent, the music completely pulls you out, and the story is just lacking anything worthy of warranting an 82 minute runtime. As a short this film may have worked, but with this link it just drags on and on.

Overall I can't recommend Caleb's Door. It almost seems like a soap opera attempting to push a story that could classify as "horror". It's a film high on drama and low on interest. This might fit in well with some of the movies played on the Lifetime channel but in the ol' horror collection it just doesn't fly. Those who read this site are aware that I am a HUGE fan of low budget film, but there a some things that even I can't find much quality in. This is one of those things. Sadly there isn't much to say about Caleb's Door. It had a solid idea going behind it but no steam to move it forward. Skip it.